Where's my sign?

Is there a sign on me somewhere that says "Tell me your life story! Especially if you work at Wal-Mart!" There must be. That would be the only explanation for the torment that I'm forced to endure everytime I enter that place. I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't want to hear all about your life. I just want my toilet paper.

Since I haven't found where this sign is hidden and I always get the life story, I use the self checkout to avoid this unless I have a cartful of goodies. I'm fairly good at the self checkout - yes, it is a skill that is learned and practiced - so it goes quickly when I only have a few items.

Today was no exception. I started placing my items in my reusable bag and the thing starts jabbering at me about "unexpected item in the bagging area". I assume this is just because of the weight of my bag. No big deal - it eventually stops jabbering and lets me continue to scan. Before I know it, the cashier overseeing the self checkouts is majorly invading my personal space. I talk to her, but don't look at her because I'm pretty sure we would have been touching noses if I had turned to face her. She proceeds to tell me everything that I never wanted to hear in the first place and I just smile and say "yeah" and "wow" a lot. I finish scanning and then show her my receipt for my "Site to Store" purchase (cloth training pants if you must know) because I had already paid for them online. She then proceeds to tell me that she has a very abnormal bra size because she's really big around but has very small boobs, but the W said they would special order bras for her. Excuse me?

Someone please tell me where this sign is, because I need to remove it. Immediately.