Redeeming myself

So there I sat. At the stop light. And there he was. Again. The same man, with the same sign...asking for...anything. He's broke, hungry, and today it was raining.

The last time I sat at the light, I felt compelled to give him a few dollars. I dug into my purse and...nothing. No cash. Change would be degrading. To me. I'm sure to him, it would be just like his sign said...it would help. Maybe it would get him a warm cup of coffee. But, the light changed and I went on my way.

Today, I looked at him and said a silent prayer. Whatever he had done to get to where he was, please be with him. I reached into my purse and found 3 single dollar bills. I looked at him again. I sat frozen...unable to roll my window down and offer the cold, wet, hungry man the $3. I'm not sure why I couldn't bring myself to do it. Was I afraid of him? Was I afraid of what the other people in the cars would think of me if I did? Would I be feeding some sort of addiction that this man had? Again, the light changed and I went on my way.

I kept thinking of him though. Why was I such a coward? I could have bought him a meal. What if that was someone in my family? So lost and broken? Wouldn't I want someone to feed him if they could? Of course I would.

I believe that God gives us opportunities all the time to redeem ourselves. We may ignore Him, but he will keep showing us the way. It is up to us if we want to follow Him.

A few short hours later, a few miles away, I was filling up with gas. A woman pulled up at the pump across from me. She seemed a bit frazzled, opened her door and said "Excuse me. This is really embarrassing. I work in Iowa City and live in Cedar Rapids. I forgot my wallet at home and I'm on empty. Is there any way that you could spare $3 to I can at least get home?"

I gave her the $3, wished her a good day and went on my way.