Protect & Serve

I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned and finally came out to the couch and turned on the tv for some brain rotting. I couldn't stop thinking about this. It hits too close to home. I can't stop thinking about this Officer fighting for his life and his wife and children who are clinging to him right now. Please pray for them.

Healthy tips from a chocoholic

YUM. Have you tried these little treats from above? Wow! They are ooey gooey gobs of guilt-free goodness! They are only 150 calories (3 Weight Watcher points if you're counting)!!! Even if you aren't counting, they are fabulous and the perfect after dinner treat. I have to admit I even hid it from Bubba when he asked me what I was eating. What kind of mother would do that?!



Something else that is absolutely wonderful is Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate squares. These little gems are only 1 WW point (sorry, not sure of the calories). The antioxidants in one serving of this dark chocolate equals 2 glasses of green tea!!


Ok, I know what you're thinking. Probably the same thing my trophy hub was thinking. These do not go right through you! They're fiber, not Olestra. These bars are super tasty and along with all the awesome healthy benefits of fiber (digestive health, lowering cholesterol, etc) they also fill you up and curb hunger. If I'm in a hurry in the morning - ok, let's face it, I'm always in a hurry - I grab one of these as my breakfast. These are 140 calories and 2 WW points.





And last, but certainly not least, the Chocolate Bran Muffin! These are made from low-fat brownie mix, bran cereal and baking powder. That's it. Viola! They taste like a chocolate cupcake. And they are only 1 WW point! Sometimes I put them in the microwave and top with fat-free cool whip for an extra special treat.


Ok, there you have it. A few tips from this self proclaimed chocoholic! Now it's your turn to give me your tips!

Weekend mumbo jumbo

Guess what I did this weekend?!

Ok, so we did get to do a few things in between loads:

• My trophy husband was off most of the weekend. I love that. Once every 6 weeks we feel like a normal family. As normal as we'll ever get I suppose!
• Peanut went to his very first kid-only birthday party. He had a ball!
• We had a ridiculous winter storm. Ummm, hello?! It's almost APRIL.
• We headed to the Amana Colonies for brunch. Yum.

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True conversation with Peanut tonight while he was in the tub.

Peanut: "Mom, are you cleaning the toilet?"

Me: (cleaning the toilet) "Yup."

Peanut: "Do you like cleaning the toilet?"

Me: "No, not really, but it's something that has to be done. Especially when 3 boys use this bathroom."

Peanut: "I think you like cleaning the toilet."

Me: "Yup, you got me. I love it."

Peanut: "I think you're going to marry the toilet."

Me: "I'm already married...to the master of the toilet."

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Has anyone ever been to the Omaha Zoo? My MIL has mentioned going there this summer. I've heard it's huge. Is it too huge to take 5 & 2 year olds? It looks like it would be a lot of fun.

Confessions by Hey Mommy

My trophy husband tells me he worries about my brain. He worries about it because of the shows I watch on TV.

Ok, so here's my thing. I don't like to watch things that stress me out. First of all, I have very vivid, crazy dreams. And I get so involved with what I'm watching that I hold my breath (literally) if it's too dramatic. I don't like that. Life is too hard. TV is for entertaining. Not for adding stress to my life.

Therefore, I enjoy watching reality TV. Sure it's dramatic, but in a different sort of way. A few shows I enjoy: Real Housewives of New York, Millionaire Matchmaker, American Idol, Biggest Loser, Dancing with the Stars, The Bachelor, Jon & Kate Plus 8, any good news magazine and a few trashy VH1 shows that even I will not mention by name. I do also occasionally catch episodes of Tyra when she's on late at night.

My name is Hey Mommy and I'm a reality TV junkie. And I kinda like it.

Health Update

Turns out Bubba has an ear infection. Augh. Honestly, I would rather him have had strep throat. My mind quickly went back to his first year when it was one ear infection after another and surgery for tubes 2 days after his first birthday. One of his tubes is out completely and the other is just lying in the canal not functioning. They have been like that for several months, so I'm hoping that this is a fluke and not a sign of future ear issues. He was pretty miserable yesterday, but he's back to normal today.

Peanut is having a few stomach issues today. I was waiting outside the bathroom for him and he informed me "Mom, you better get away. It's going to be diarrhea." Uh, thanks for the warning. I guess I'm just glad he uses the correct term and doesn't say he's going to "have a blow out" anymore.

I'm confident that tomorrow everyone will be feeling healthy and wonderful! My trophy husband is getting over the crud that he got from the kids and I am healthy as always.

Snow is in the forecast this weekend. Are you kidding me? I'm going to need some prozac if this keeps up much longer. I have plenty to do around the house, but I would really love to crack a window. Does anyone have any unique ideas on how to keep very active boys out of trouble when they have spring fever?

Sleeping with a mule (it's not what you think!)

Bubba woke up at 2:30am with a fever. I never have any luck getting him to lay back down in his bed alone and I was too tired to mess around so I brought him into bed with me (hub was at work). That kid is not even 3 feet tall, but his feet manage to be somewhere on me at all times. He pushes, kicks, scratches and pinches my legs, sides and back with his feet. How can a boy so small be such a bed hog and kick like a mule?

Brush 'em!

Today the boys went to the dentist. I was so worked up, I made my trophy husband take them while I was at work. The last time Peanut went, he had numerous cavities. They seemed to think this was because he teeth are very tight and we didn't floss them. I'm sure all other parents floss their 4 year olds teeth, right? Riiiiiiight. Most adults don't even floss their own teeth let alone their kids' teeth!

To my surprise, Peanut's teeth looked good and Bubba even got up in the chair to get his first check up. His teeth have gaps so hopefully he won't have the same issues that Peanut had. He does have ridiculous amounts of gum tissue (my words, not theirs) between his two front teeth. They said that he will probably bump it at some point and it will bleed excessively or when he's like 10 they will have to cut it out. OUCH! I may need to leave the country for that appointment.

Kids and drunks

Kids and drunks always tell the truth. Thankfully, I don't have many drunks in my house, but I do have kids. I least drunks may eventually feel bad about what they say.

I have been pretty conscious about not changing my clothes in front of the boys. Sam especially is extremely aware, so about 2 years ago I started demanding some privacy. Well, a closed door is only an obstacle to kids that is easily overcome even for a 2 year old. A few weeks ago, Bubba came in while I was changing and I had no top on (at all). He immediately starting laughing. And then says "ooohhhhhhh Mommy look at you!"

Thanksalot.

Jeans

*I would like to apologize in advance for any visual that this post causes your brain to create. I would also like to publicly apologize to anyone that may have been at the mall yesterday and saw what is about to be described.

I bought jeans similar to the ones pictured here at Old Navy. They are low rise, boot-cut...Cute? Yes. Comfortable? Big fat NO. I don't think I have ever been so uncomfortable in an item of clothing in my entire life. Every time I sat down, they were halfway down my bum. When I stood up I would have to hoist them up and pull my shirt down in the back so nothing was hanging out. It was obscene.

Does anyone own these jeans? Are they comfy if you have a smaller/no bum? Or do people really just sacrifice comfort for fashion?

I guess I'll have to stick with Mom Jeans from now on. Augh.

Paying it forward

Every once in awhile someone does something that makes me feel like mankind isn't going in the pooper after all.

Last night my Trophy Husband and the boys met me at Texas Roadhouse for supper. We saw one of my favorite co-workers there eating with his wife. When we were finished I got my card out to pay and our waitress told us that our meal was paid for by the gentleman sitting behind us (who had already left). I was shocked. But, it was so him. He just does things like that. He didn't do it to be a hero. He didn't do it so I would thank him and tell him how wonderful he is. He did it simply to be nice. It's like a breath of fresh air.

Of course I called him to thank him and he in turn tells me what a great family we are. I cannot think of any better compliment than that.

Whenever someone goes out of their way to be kind, it makes me want to do the same. It doesn't have to be anything big, but I believe it all matters in the end. It's like these commercials. I love it!

The Potty Dance

This is the most disturbing commercial I have seen in a long time. Have you seen it? I thought it was a skit on SNL, but much to my horror it is very, very real. Watch with caution and preferably not right at the beginning of your day because you'll have the tune in your head for the rest of the day.



This little boy is so motivated to go in the potty I don't think any silly dances are necessary (only m&ms for rewards). My earth mother approach with cloth training pants is working like a charm! I did get a somewhat frantic call from my Trophy Husband at work today asking what to do with "dump in a cloth diaper". So we've got some work to do with #2, but #1 is going very well.

Guess who's feeling better?? This is what happens with I try to take his picture. I hope he snaps out of this phase soon.

Short & Sweet

Thank you to everyone that called, emailed and sent texts regarding Peanut! He is doing well. The wicked croup cough and labored breathing did not return last night. He is still battling a sore throat and a bit of a fever, but my bets are by morning that will be gone too. He was back to stalling before bedtime tonight so he's getting back to normal.

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On a separate note, I have heard from a few people who have tried to comment on the blog without success. I had to enable non-Google users to comment. You should be good to go now!

Where's my sign?

Is there a sign on me somewhere that says "Tell me your life story! Especially if you work at Wal-Mart!" There must be. That would be the only explanation for the torment that I'm forced to endure everytime I enter that place. I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't want to hear all about your life. I just want my toilet paper.

Since I haven't found where this sign is hidden and I always get the life story, I use the self checkout to avoid this unless I have a cartful of goodies. I'm fairly good at the self checkout - yes, it is a skill that is learned and practiced - so it goes quickly when I only have a few items.

Today was no exception. I started placing my items in my reusable bag and the thing starts jabbering at me about "unexpected item in the bagging area". I assume this is just because of the weight of my bag. No big deal - it eventually stops jabbering and lets me continue to scan. Before I know it, the cashier overseeing the self checkouts is majorly invading my personal space. I talk to her, but don't look at her because I'm pretty sure we would have been touching noses if I had turned to face her. She proceeds to tell me everything that I never wanted to hear in the first place and I just smile and say "yeah" and "wow" a lot. I finish scanning and then show her my receipt for my "Site to Store" purchase (cloth training pants if you must know) because I had already paid for them online. She then proceeds to tell me that she has a very abnormal bra size because she's really big around but has very small boobs, but the W said they would special order bras for her. Excuse me?

Someone please tell me where this sign is, because I need to remove it. Immediately.

That's what mommies are for

Last night, Peanut woke up after sleeping for about an hour coughing, gagging and sounded like he was gasping for air. This went on for what seemed like an hour (I'm sure it was only a few minutes or less). We thought if we could just get him to calm down he would be able to catch his breath. This did not happen so I told my trophy husband that we needed to go to the ER and thankfully he did not argue. We called our neighbors (the very best neighbors in the world) and they came over to stay with Bubba while we headed in to Mercy Hospital.

After we got checked in, we were seen almost immediately. He was more calm, but still had a horrendous cough and his breathing was very labored. His heart rate was also very high. They led us back to a room and as soon as he saw it he said in the saddest voice I've ever heard "What's going to happen?" and then he started to cry. Then I started to cry, but of course tried to hide it and let him know that everything was going to be ok. A new nurse came in and introduced herself, but didn't even get all the way into the room when she heard him and said she was going to get the doctor. The doctor was fabulous and checked him out completely. The diagnosis is croup and strep throat. They started him on an oxygen treatment that came through a tube that he just had to hold in front of his face. Then a respiratory therapist came in and gave him another one that was medicated and done through a mask. If you know Peanut, you can about guess how that went over. Once that was complete they went back to the regular tube treatment. He also had to drink some type of steriod. They turned us loose around midnight.

I have to admit that I'm still a little jarred about this today. It was so scary to watch him while he appeared to be gasping for air. Although I know now that he was getting air it doesn't change the fear that I felt in those moments. I felt so helpless.

Tonight when I was tucking him in I told him that I was so glad that he was feeling better. He said "You always make me feel better, Mommy". Melt. That's what mommies are for.

This kid cracks me up

Warning: This post is rated PG

I'm not even sure what he did to make me say it.

Me: "Peanut, you're full of beans and wieners."

Peanut: "Mom, do you even know what wieners are?" (giggling)

Me: "Um, hot dogs."

Peanut: (giggling) "No, they're not."

Me: "What are they then?"

Peanut: "A wiener is a penis."

Note taken.

Spring Fever!

It's been awhile since I posted. And I've only told 2 people about my blog. I suppose it's time to roll this out! Welcome friends and family! I wanted to get a few posts under my belt and figure everything out before I told everyone about it. It's still a work in progress, so bear with me. I plan on getting some help from some fellow blogger friends on jazzing it up with some music and other fun stuff.

We had a productive weekend. The weather was fabulous (it was 60 today - yay!) and I always feel more productive with a window or door cracked. Thursday night we switched some beds around so there was lots of putting away/finding new homes for things that needed to be done. (Pics of the boys having trouble adjusting to the new arrangements are above - ha!) I tackled my closet that I'm pretty sure hasn't been organized since we moved in...almost 4 years ago. Ahem. Aside from being productive, we got to have some fun outside too!

My ever so helpful MIL met us at the mall today and I got to get away and do some grocery shopping sans kids. Woo hoo! It's amazing how I just zip through the store when I don't have to say "Come on, put that down, quit, don't touch each other, quit growling (yes, I actually have to say that), don't look at each other, no we're not getting that, let's go, no it's not time to go pay yet, chill out" etc etc. You get the point. If you've ever shopped with 2 & 5 year old boys I need not elaborate.

Since I have admitted to the world via photo that Bubba still has a pacifier, does anyone have any advice on getting rid of the thing? And don't just tell me to take it away. Obviously if it was that easy I would have done it by now. (He also has a blanket addiction which actually doesn't bother me because it doesn't go in public.) Peanut sucked his thumb from 2 months, so we now battle the thumb. Augh...I may as well have a savings account titled "Braces".

Cookies

Last night, in the chaos that is bed time around here, my Trophy Husband attempted to brush Bubba's teeth. He is ridiculously attached to me and always wants me to do everything. Anyway, I was in the living room with Peanut the Destroyer when I started to hear the ruckus coming from the boys' bathroom. It went something like this:

Trophy Husband: "Bubba, stop."

Bubba: "Waaaahhhhh!!! I want MOMMY!"

Trophy Husband: (a little louder this time) "Bubba,STOP."

Bubba: (WAY louder this time)"Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I WANT MOMMY!!!"

Out comes a nude Bubba. I tell him to lay in the floor so I can put a diaper & pajamas on him. He lays down and continues to bawl.

Me: "Bubba, what do you want?"

Bubba: "Waaaaahhhhhh!"

Me: "Bubba, stop crying. Tell me what you want."

Bubba: "I want...I want....cookies."

Me too, baby. Me too.

No spring chicken

It's official: I'm a grown up. Today in the lunchroom at work I was faced with a decision. Cosmo or Oprah? I chose Oprah. I don't even really like Oprah or her magazine for that matter. What has happened to me?!

Why are you so tan?

We are back from Florida and we had a great time!

Is there anything better than this?