Bad day

I have a fabulous life. My husband is wonderful, my kids are great, I have a good job, a nice house...but today...I'm having a bad day. Are any of the things that made my day bad going to matter in 5 years or even 1 year or even in a week? Nope. But that didn't change my overwhelming urge to bawl like a baby over and over today.

I won't go into all the details because like I said none if it will matter next week anyway. In a nutshell - I got a flat tire, no lunch, 1 naughty kid, 1 sick kid, more laundry than I could ever keep up with, 1 naughty kid that won't go to bed, 1 disoriented coughing kid, now 2 sick kids, 1 sick kid in my bed.

Calgon take me away!

Home alone

Anyone that knows me knows how stupidly in love I am with my husband and my kids. But wow, it's nice to be home alone once in awhile! My parents are back from FL and took the boys to Thomas the Train and are keeping them overnight and Trophy Hub just left for work. I even kicked the dog out just so I could officially have the house to myself! Then can you guess what I did? If you guessed started some laundry you'd be right. It's so sad, isn't it?

A few shout outs tonight for 2 of my favorite people in the world:

My friend Kelly got great news after a long and scary 5 days. Her 6 month old son had to have a CT scan, but she found out today that it read normal. Praise the Lord!

Head on over to my friend Vince's blog and wish him a Happy Birthday!

Great belly laugh

We took Bubba to the doctor today (yes, again) because he has had a high fever - 102.2 - since yesterday. No ear infection, but they did a strep test because his throat was red. The immediate test came back negative, but they took the other one that grows for a few days, so we'll see.

As usual, while waiting in the room for the doctor, Peanut had to go to the bathroom. We were right across the hall from the restroom so I just told him to go and we left the door open. Did I mention that he never locks the door? At home he doesn't even close the door let alone lock it. Anyway, since the door wasn't locked another patient walked in while he was in there and she looked either shocked, startled or horrified, so Trophy Hub went to check on him.

When they came out they were both laughing and Peanut looked at Trophy Hub and said "Don't tell Mom what I did". Oh, yeah right! Once Trophy Hub caught his breath, he told me that Peanut had taken a urine sample cup and filled it to the brim and was putting it in the little door in the wall. (He had to do this at his 5 year physical if you're wondering how he knew what to.)

Just another day in public with my kids.

Quote of the day

Courtesy of Peanut, age 5.

"You're not the boss of me, Mom. God is."

Tub floater

I was in our bathroom with Peanut getting him in the shower and Bubba started hollering from the tub in their bathroom that he had to go potty. I came running to get him out of the tub and onto the hopper, but had already gotten out and was doing his business. Then I looked at the tub..... Oh.

My.

Goodness.

What.

Is.

That?

It's a rhino. Duh. What did you think it was?? Sicko.

I said what?

Sometimes I can hardly believe the things that come out of my mouth when speaking to my children. Here are a few examples of what I've said in the last 24 hours...

"Don't lick my face."

"Quit growling."

"Don't put the brownie in your pants."

"Yay! You have turds!"

Being a mommy is so glamorous.

I'm just me

I am like black licorice;
You either like me or you don't.

And sometimes I am like yogurt;
I'm an acquired taste.

And that's ok.

Someone else's kid this time

Meet Eli.

Eli is 12 days older than Bubba. Yesterday I received an email from his mommy - and my good friend - Kelly. It was titled "Another story for the future girlfriend" so I knew before I even opened it that it was going to be good. Here is how the email started:"Any ideas how to clean a large amount of Vaseline off a 2 year old? I swear, someone has hidden cameras in this house doing a study to see how much it takes before I snap."

It turns out sweet little Eli got a jar of Vaseline and proceeded to rub it all over his arms, hair and his mommy and daddy's bed. It's a good thing he's cute or he'd probably be listed on eBay right now.

So long nookies!

Guess who went to bed tonight without a pacifier?? I tucked him in and said "No nookie tonight, ok?" To my surprise he responded "Ok. Nookies are for babies." And off to sleep he went.

(Note: I am not a big fan of words like "nookie" and "paci". We don't baby talk around here. We call things what they are with the exception of the nookie. Peanut called it that when Bubba was a baby and it stuck.)

This is a good lesson to me that sometimes kids will do things when they're ready. This is maybe why I didn't feel a strong need to take it away from him. I knew he would eventually just get it and not want it anymore.

It's so strange that my baby is no longer in a baby bed, using a pacifier or wearing diapers. He sure wasn't a baby for long.

And now a word from the TMI network...

Bubba has the flu.

You can about guess how much fun our house has been for the last 3 days. There's nothing like the stomach flu that makes you want to open all your doors and windows and power wash the inside of your house (especially the bathrooms).

Every day for the last 3 it's been a new ailment. Thursday was vomiting, yesterday was fever, whining and narcolepsy and today is...(drum roll please)...diarrhea. He is at least acting like himself today despite sudden stomach cramps and monkey butt from frequent bathroom visits.

Stay tuned for the latest on this developing story. This is Hey Mommy with the TMI Network.

Apples

Peanut: "Mommy, you look different when you wear that purple shirt and those black pants."

Me: "What do you mean, different?"

Peanut: "I don't know, you just look different."

(The purple shirt and black pants are my workout clothes.)

A week or so later...I am now wearing a pink shirt and black shorts.

Peanut: "Mommy, you don't look different when you wear that."

Me: "Huh? What you mean?"

Peanut: "I mean you only look different when you wear the purple shirt and black pants."

That's it. I'm not letting this lie. I have to know what he means.

Me: "Do I look taller when I wear that outfit?"

Peanut: "No, you just look skinny or somethin'."

Me: Hmph. "Well, how you do like them apples?"

Peanut: "Yeah, I like apples."

Sometimes he pinches too

Sometimes I get crabby. Surprising, no? It's usually because I'm overwhelmed by something. Mostly it's a compiling of my job, the house, the kids, the never-ending ridiculous schedule, etc. Trophy Hub rarely gets crabby - add that to the list of why he and I are like peas and carrots. When he does, my world just doesn't feel right. Didn't he get the memo that I'm the only one allowed to be moody around here? Sheesh.

Trophy Hub had a bad day yesterday and just couldn't catch a break. It started by not getting the boat motor he had anticipated getting and ended with a vomit covered child in his truck.

I say he had every right to be crabby.

Kids rock

Apparently my kids aren't the only hilarious ones. Watch this.

Warning

The Fiber One bars I raved about are still fabulous.

For adults.

Just maybe not for 2 year old kiddos.

When I got to the sitter to pick up the boys this afternoon the first thing Bubba said to me was "I pooped on the floor." I looked at the sitter and she confirmed that he indeed had pooped on the floor, although it sounds like it began as a simple shart that got out of hand.

Consider yourself warned.

The power of an L

Peanut has swim lessons on Mondays and Wednesday nights for a few more dreaded weeks. This is a painful experience because I'm trapped with Bubba for 45 minutes trying to find things to do. We go for lots of walks and watch people in the gyms playing basketball, volleyball, tennis - whatever - to pass the time. We have been visiting the adjoining library the last few times because he loves to be read to and they have a guinea pig named Flat Stanley that he loves to torment. This is always an interesting experience too because 2 year olds only speak in one volume and that is LOUD.

So tonight after a few bangs on poor Flat Stanley's cage, we headed to the children's section of the library. We couldn't find the Blue's Clue's book that we read last time so we decided to go play with the puppets. I had a skunk that I was making clap and he wanted to do it. So I gave it to him but his little hands couldn't fit in both the arms. He was getting frustrated and started yelling "He's not crapping! He can't crap anymore!" You see, Bubba doesn't say his L's very well. Clearly. He says "Don't rook at me","I hurt my rip", "I rove you". You get the point. So, the skunk couldn't crap.

Happy Easter!!

Peanut butter jelly time

I try not to use the word "hate". That wasn't a big issue before I had kids, but there's something about hearing that word out of little mouths that makes me cringe. So, we say "dislike" or "don't like". But I hate mornings. (Please don't tell Peanut or Bubba I said hate. Thanks.)

This morning I was rushing around as usual. It doesn't matter if I wake up 2 hours before I need to leave or 30 minutes before I always end up in a hurry. It's a horrible trait, I know. So, I was rushing around and I came out to the kitchen to grab my breakfast and Trophy Hub puts his hand on my back and gives me a little rub. He's affectionate. I'm a lucky woman. Then the rub feels more like wiping. He was making breakfast for the boys. Breakfast was toast and english muffins with peanut butter and jelly. So, can you guess what the wiping was? Yup, you guessed it. Well, when he realized he got a little jelly on my back he tried to wipe it off and smeared peanut butter on it too. And did I mention I was wearing a white shirt? Yeah. And since I'm already running late, I really don't want to change my whole outfit, so I just grabbed my black sweater to go over my PB&J shirt.

I suppose if that's the worst thing he did all day he's still a keeper.

Speaking of PB & J, the boys love this. Enjoy and good luck getting it out of your head!

I have no idea why I'm sharing this...

I need my eyebrows waxed so bad that I had a dream last night that I was Bert from Sesame Street. Ok, ok, they're not growing together but if they keep growing down they will be sideburns.

I wish I was kidding.

The bird

Tonight Peanut flipped me the bird. No, that is not a play on words. He really gave me the finger. He refused to give up the person or persons that he learned this from. Clearly it is something he picked up at preschool or daycare because Trophy Hub and I don't typically flip each other (or our children) the bird.

I suppose there was the time that Trophy Hub flipped off the cabinet after he hit his head on it and then realized that Peanut was standing in the hallway watching the whole thing. But he just gave Trophy Hub a thumbs up, obviously not seeing which finger he had shown to the cabinet. As many of you know, Trophy Hub hitting his head is nothing new. He hits his head at least...3 times each day.

I digress.

He flipped me the bird and asked me if it was a bad thing. And after he refused divulge his source of bad behavior I just told him that it was a bad thing and that he shouldn't ever do it again. Any advice from you seasoned parents?

He's not even in kindergarten yet! What in the world is he going to learn once he's in elementary? I'm scared.

The boat story

The (expletive) Boat

Trophy Hub has always wanted a boat. About a year ago, I finally gave in. Not so much because I'm a nice wife, just because I was sick and tired of hearing about it. Anyway, he saw a jonboat for sale for a mere $800. He called the guy and after some haggling , he got him down to $600 or $650 (give me a break, it's been a year).


When he picked up the boat, the man told him that he was lucky that he was a man of his word because after he got off the phone with him, another guy called and made a full price offer. Trophy Hub told him he appreciated it. The generous man told him that it was hearing his kids in the background on the phone that sealed the deal.


Heartwarming, no?


So a day or so after the verbal deal has been made, I see him perusing the Craigslist boat section. Ummm, hello? Didn't we just buy a boat?


Me: "What are you looking for?"


TH: "A boat motor."


Me: "Huh? We just bought a boat."


TH: "Yeah, but it doesn't have a motor."


Me: "What?! You didn't tell me that when I agreed to buy it!"


TH: "You didn't ask!"


Me: "When I go to buy a car, I don't ask if it has a motor!"


Silence.


Me: "How much is a boat motor?"


TH: "A couple thousand...?"


Me: "How much are oars?"


The 2009 boat update is as follows: still not outboard motor. He got a trolling motor from his dad for free (the operative word in my language), but of course it needs about $100 worth of parts and/or work. The good news is this will get him out on the lake in our town! The bad news is he still hasn't shut up about a outboard.

D88

D88 is what I waited for.

D88 is what never showed up.

What on earth am I talking about? D88 was Bubba's assigned "meltdown number" (my words, not theirs) in church today. They will show this number up on the screen if your child has a meltdown or needs you for some other reason. He went to Sunday School without crying when we left and without a meltdown later on. I actually got to listen to the sermon today! I was only slightly distracted waiting for D88.

My Peanut - going to kindergarten?!

How is it possible that this little boy had kindergarten round-up on Friday? He's just a baby! He can't go to kindergarten!

UGG!

Stick a fork in me - I'm done. I'm done with the short shorts and Ugg boots! Not that I personally wear this look. Come on, I'm fully aware that I am 30.

Trophy Hub and I spent part of our date night last night at the W. How romantic is that? That is real life people. There were at least 3 girls (not even together) wearing this outfit. Augh. Is it cold so you need Uggs or is it warm so you need to wear shorts? Which is it? I'm no prude, but come on girls, let's leave something to the imagination! One girl's shorts were so short that the inside of the pockets were hanging down.

You can tell Trophy Hub is getting old mature because his comment was "what would her father say?" and something else that I will not repeat because this is a family blog.

Times like these I am so happy that I have boys. Now I just have to worry that one of those boys will someday bring a girl home with short shorts and Ugg boots. UGG!

Well, ok then!

I was put in my place tonight by my 2 year old.

I was tipping him upside down and he was giggling and snorting (literally). Well, I must have done it one too many times because he said "Stop, Mommy. You're not funny!"

Ringtones and ringbacks

Trophy Hub left the computer on my blog when he left for his meeting tonight. The Staind song came on and Peanut said "Hey, Mom, that's like your ringtone." I said "Yup, it is." A couple minutes went by and I started thinking about that little exchange.

He's five.

He's five and 3 months. Not even almost six.

And he knows what a ringtone is. Craziness.

That reminds me of something else. I'm tired of the verbal assaults for my ringback tone on my cell. I would change it if I could but I can't figure out how. Maybe I'll give it to Peanut and he can do it for me.